Master Tells Jokes

The Bait

Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai, Florida, U.S.A.,
October 3, 1999 (Originally in Chinese)

A policeman stood patiently outside a nightclub waiting for the drunken men inside to come out. He waited for a long time until the nightclub was about to close before a man finally stumbled out. The man wobbled unsteadily, sometimes muttering and sometimes yelling. Then he took out a key to open a car, but couldn’t open the door. He tried one car after another, but couldn’t open any of them. Meanwhile, the rest of the customers came out of the nightclub, and each found his or her car and drove away.

After all the customers had left, the man suddenly stopped wobbling and began to walk in a normal manner toward his car, opened the door and sat inside.

Then the policeman immediately went over and said to him, “I’ve been watching you for a long time. Now I’m going to give you a breath test for the alcohol concentration of your blood using an instrument to determine whether you’ve violated the drunk driving regulations.”

However, the man’s blood alcohol level was “zero,” and the baffled policeman asked, “Just now you looked intoxicated. Why is there no alcohol in your blood?”

“I’m not drunk,” the man replied. “I just put on an act to distract you, so that the others could leave smoothly!”

 

The Bribe that Backfired

 

Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai, Florida, U.S.A.,
October 3, 1999 (Originally in Chinese)

A teacher was collecting test papers from his students after a test when he noticed a hundred dollar bill and a small note tucked inside one of the papers. On the note it said, “One U. S. dollar for one point.” After grading the test, the teacher handed back the test papers to the class. The student who had tried to bribe the teacher received his test paper, together with sixty-four dollars in change!