By Ta-Ming

In 1989 when I was still a novice in the monastic order, I had the good fortune to accompany Master on several trips to foreign countries. While I claimed to be very fortunate, in reality I was very nervous and afraid. The reason was simple; I knew I didn't know how to assist and take care of anyone. I had always been extremely well cared for. Having just been ordained, I didn't even know how to cook, do laundry, or take care of my daily duties; yet I was assigned to take care of the absolutely perfect, meticulous, and elegant Master. Being Her attendant was the last assignment that I would have imagined myself doing; it was the one job I feared most.

However, in the days to come, Master showed me that She was only responding to the deepest aspirations of my soul. I realized clearly from the efforts She exerted and the difficulties that She suffered for my sake that helping me fulfill my aspirations accounted for every one of Her actions. And this is true not only for me, but for all of us as well!

After much reflection, I have realized that the main reason why I was chosen to be Master's attendant was that I was very anxious to be rid of my many negative qualities. I became a nun with this intent, deliberately waiting a few months before joining the order to make sure it was not an impulsive decision. I knew very well that becoming a nun was the only way to get rid of those parts of myself that I hated most, so I joined with the determination to be born anew. And immediately after my ordination, Master personally helped me to fulfill my wish by bringing me with Her.

Since the course had been set, I had no option but to follow. How I wished that I had been called to be Her attendant after I had been better trained in the monastic order! The reality is, however, that after Master had trained me to become better, I could not accompany Her anymore. From this, it is obvious that She chooses us to be Her attendants only to train us and to benefit sentient beings; She never considers Her personal comfort or pleasure.

One day in 1990 while abroad, Master and I were taking a stroll along the street when we saw an ordinary-looking elderly woman slowly walking toward us. As she came closer, I did not notice anything unusual about her, but Master stretched out Her arms to give the elderly lady a hand, asking, "Are you all right?" Weary and walking unsteadily, she replied, "I have not eaten for a long time." Supporting her with both arms, Master took her to a nearby restaurant and immediately ordered hamburgers, French fries, and a drink for her. The restaurant manager came over, and with a grim face ordered the old woman to leave. She apparently had begged for food there before. When Master told the supervisor sternly, "She is my honorable guest," the embarrassed manager apologized. Apart from treating the aged woman to a meal, Master also bought more hamburgers for her. The woman was very grateful although she was too weak to say anything.

They were not vegetarian hamburgers, but so what? Master's quick, decisive actions swept away the habitual conflicts that had previously plagued me when I wanted to do a good deed. Sometimes when I wanted to offer my seat to others on the bus, I would feel afraid and uneasy about attracting attention. I was filled with negative thoughts at that time, and looking back now, I not only find it ridiculous, but also I feel bad. People have the courage to do evil things but are shy about performing good deeds. This is like having the guts to go to hell, but not the courage to go to heaven!

Anyway, this incident seems to have shaken off some of the mud that was stuck to my body. We can learn quickly by observing the way Master does things. Without need for additional words, we just understand and feel touched. We come to love Her even more, and to hold Her in greater reverence. She helps us lift the heavy burdens from our previous lives, and uses Her personal actions to set examples for us in every way imaginable.

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