Q:
How
can we help others who have addictions to overcome them?
M: Like to
drugs and alcohol? You should just encourage them if they want to,
but they've got to help themselves. And if they're trying to help
themselves, you should encourage and support them as much as you can.
But only they are the ones who can help themselves. You just stand
by, support, and encourage. It's very difficult. But if they really
want to break a habit, it takes three weeks. Any habit can be broken
in three weeks. So tell them to hang in there for 21 days. Then it's
done, whatever it is. You can break anything in three weeks' time
if you persist every day up to 21 days. If they can survive until
that time, they will be finished with their addiction.
Q:
What specifically should they do for those
21 days?
M: Abstain. Abstain from whatever
gives the addiction. For example, if they are alcoholic, they should
abstain from alcoholic beverages. Clear the refrigerator; stay away
from drinking friends. Don't even dream about a bar; even in a dream,
don't go near! Don't circle around the liquor store. Anywhere they
go shopping, they should just close their eyes and go directly to
where they want something. For example, if they want butter, they
should put their blindfold on and go directly to the butter only.
And don't look right or left, because there will be alcohol everywhere.
Meanwhile,
they should substitute alcohol with the things that they like second-best,
but are harmless. For example, if they love to watch movies, they
should just watch them every time. If they like, they can chew chewing
gum, to keep their mouth occupied. They can keep drinking: Any time
they want to drink alcohol, they should just grab milk, soy milk or
juice, as a substitute. And, if they used to drink alcohol from a
certain bottle, they can put milk in that bottle and keep drinking
from it. Substitute something that is also stimulating and interesting
but not harmful. They should go to a lot of sports activities and
meet with friends who are very supportive. They can see the doctor,
change their environment, and maybe change jobs. Or, if there's no
need, maybe they can change something in their lifestyle. For example,
if they have always wanted to play football but have never really
taken time to do it-they can just do it now, you know, anything to
occupy their time for the 21 days. And then they will forget all about
it.
Friends
are important, but good friends only. They should steer clear of their
drinking friends. Of course, they can go to a yoga class or go swimming.
Spiritual practice does help tremendously, such as yoga or meditation.
Substituting the lower desire for a higher one makes them feel more
elevated and worthwhile.
Most
people drink because it's become a habit. Also they feel that life
is so boring that they keep drinking, and the more they drink, the
less activity they have. Then the less activity, the more they're
bored. And so it continues, like a devil's circle. They have to substitute
this habit for something better. They have to think for themselves;
for example, what made them feel good before, in their whole life,
from childhood until now? What kind of activities gave them the most
pleasure? Note it down, "Number 1." What kind of people
gave them the best support and happiness to be with? Note that down,
"Number 2." What kinds of places gave them a very, very
good time, like a comfort zone of good memories? Note it down, "Number
3."
And
then they should make sure they have all these things at this time;
it's very important for them. Then their lives will be happy, fulfilling
and interesting. They will have enough strength and aim to go forward,
in order to forget their bad habit also. By just sitting there, trying
to suppress themselves with no other substitution, they will kill
themselves. It can be very, very tough. But if a person is so busy
that at night he comes home and "drops dead," even if alcohol
is put right in front of him, he won't have a chance to even grab
it. He may try to, but he will fall asleep already in front of the
bottle.
